On July 4th, 1776, when Ben Franklin ordered the IBW logo to be placed on the great seal of the United States, we couldn't have been more honored. Big Ben was and continues to be a fan of IBW and thought it'd be the right and natural way to honor our works (both public and private).
So, to honor Brother Ben, as well as all other astronauts everywhere, we decided to release ASTRONAUT EYE SCREAM in 16oz cans just in time for the anniversary of that seal's creation.
If you don't follow Brother Ben's blog, or if you otherwise aren't familiar the only beer that has been clinically proven to be truly mind-altering*, then let us introduce you to ASTRONAUT EYE SCREAM...
This 8% beauty is built on our typical 2-row & flaked oat base and then we added lactose sugar as well as a girthful amount of Galaxy, Mosaic & Pacifica hops in there. If you like things, you'll love Astronaut Eye Scream.
Astro Eye Scream went to city accounts on Monday, West suburb accounts yesterday. It goes North today and South on Tuesday. So go on out there and get yourself some!
ALSO OF RELATIVE IMPORTANCE: We have an Astro Eye Scream party at Great Central Brewing (221 N Wood St) tonight where we'll be pouring the above named mind-bending potion made in honor of Ben Franklin's wild abandon for IBW, as well as Orange Sunshine and ASTRONAUT DREAM SCREAM which is AES but with orange and vanilla flavored toad venom to truly enhance your experience.
The party starts at 6pm. Don't be a jerk, just go.
And lastly, of equal importance to all of the relatively important stuff above, is the following message from our Global CEO and 4-time Olympic Free-Style Metalist:
With the Dog Days approaching, it is, once again, IBW's Very High Holiday Season. And this Holiday, let's all remember to do our part to properly Gay things up a bit. In fact, let's Gay things up maybe a little more than is appropriate for the circles in which we run.
Friends, let's make this the Goriest Gayest 4th of July ever to be put on record in the sordid history of this failed human race. And let's be clear, there have been some pretty Gay 4ths of July through out time, so our work today is no small task. But we here at IBW World Headquarters in Ingolstadt, Germany believe in you, our beautiful brothers and sisters across this broken planet of ours. And we here at IBW World Headquarters know that you're at least a leeeetle bit gayer than you're letting most people know.
So, this 4th of July, in these soon-to-be Dog Days of Summer, let's surprise everybody and make this a party we'll all remember for as long as our failing memories hold up.
With Love & Light,
IBW International, Inc.
I think what our Fearless Leader is trying to say is essentially, have a great 4th of July, and don't forget to pick up more GAY AGENDA DDH DIPA with Peaches to help properly intone the revelry of said day.
With that, we bid you, adieu.